Instantly.

Recently, I got this thing called Spotify. It's basically like a better version of Grooveshark, for those of you unfamiliar with it. I can stream whatever song I want to listen to, almost instantly.

I also have Netflix which lets me watch most things I want to, whenever I want to.

(I might have just paused writing for about 20 minutes to watch That '70s Show.)

I also have a smartphone that lets me do both of those things, and pretty much whatever else I want to do. I can't remember something, and instead of wondering, I look it up. There's no need to ponder any question. I can know the answer.

But I want to ponder that. Is there value in wondering about things? I'm not worried about our generation having less patience. I'm not worried about us learning how to find information more than we learn information. I'm worried we're going to lose our imagination.

When you don't know something, your mind is free to create it's own answer. When you can know anything, your mind doesn't need to.

Before the plunge.

Have you ever been to a lake or quarry to jump off the rocks into the water?

It can be one of the most exhilarating things. You're fifteen feet above the water. Maybe you've done it before, or maybe it's your first time. It might take a little bit of convincing yourself, or maybe you're able to just ignore your inclination to not hurl yourself off high places for a split-second. Either way, you take a few steps, and leap into the air.

Taking a day off.

Last Tuesday was wonderful. Why is that? I slept til 11. Then I did nothing much the entire day. Sure, I went out for lunch with my dad, and visited my mom in the hospital, but I didn't do anything draining.

I think I miss that a lot of times. I generally like doing stuff, and so I will. I'll fill my entire week with things until I finally get so worn out I realize I haven't had a day off in ages.

During the school year, it's a little more apparent and easier to manage since weekends are always the weekend. It forces you to relax at least a little. But, this summer, a weekend might mean I spend 20 hours of it working, and I miss my chance to have a day to myself.

So, that's why last week I skipped writing a blog post.

When stakes get high.

I've only taken one psychology class, so I can't claim to know anything about how our brains really work. But I'm going to make assumptions anyways.


I think that humans have experiences on just one scale. Only one.


Let's say this is just a 1 to 10 scale. 1 is mundane life. 10 is your most significant experience. So, what happens is that when you're a little kid, you expand your scale all the time. Your first time up a lighthouse is a 10, because it's the coolest thing you've done so far. Later on in life, you break an arm, and now that's a little more emotional situation, so that's your 10.


It goes on like that. Each experience that outdoes the last sets a new 10, til eventually your old 10 (like climbing up a lighthouse) is only a 2 on your newest scale.


And I think there comes a point where one experience sticks out beyond the rest, and your scale doesn't really expand much more. You get set in a routine, and not much stretches you anymore.


One day it will expand, though. Something will fight for a new 10.


But, when that happens, it's not about the new experience as much as it is how you respond to them.


So, how do you respond when you're challenged beyond anything you've ever done?


-----


This post is particularly fitting this week because of what's going on with my mom. For those of you who haven't heard, doctors found a tumor in her pancreas and identified it as cancer a couple weeks ago. It was discovered very early, and they should be able to remove it. Tomorrow, she's having that surgery to have the tumor removed.


If you want to know more and/or keep up to date with what's going on, you can check out  http://www.caringbridge.org/vi​sit/dinemitz.

The lie is that you're all alone.

It's hard to be vulnerable. It's something that everyone struggles with at some point. Whether it's opening up with a significant other or disagreeing with someone who doesn't share your opinions, we've run into it at some point.

What else I've discovered is that it's hard to be vulnerable on a blog. In a post that anyone, anywhere can see.

Just a few months ago, when I made this blog public, I wrote a humorous post about the types of interactions people have. That post got tons of views. So, I tried to keep writing funny posts. I felt like that's what people wanted to read, so I was going to try to fit what I wanted to write into that.

But, this isn't really a humor blog. This isn't "Stuff Christians Like". I write funny things every once in a while, but for the most part it's more serious.

So, as I started running out of funny things to say, I started opening up a little bit more and being a bit more vulnerable. I started writing my opinions on issues that people might disagree with.

In particular, I shared my view on the death of Osama bin Laden. I was sitting in the library next to a friend who agreed with my view and started defending himself on facebook. I felt like it was just us two, but having someone else was enough to get me past the fear of being vulnerable and judged, and I wrote a blog post on my thoughts.

Remember when I said anyone, anywhere can see what I post? That night, I felt it. I had many people disagree with me. I even had a church pastor criticize my use of the Bible. But, I also had just as many people who agreed with me.

But, that's just a small example that points to a bigger truth: You are not alone.

The lie that satan tries to feed each and every one of us is that we're the only one with our problem, whether that's addiction, pride, anger, trust, or anything else. If you believe you're alone, you lose hope. You become ashamed. You don't reach out in fear of judgement.

But, you're not alone. Tons of people have had those issues. That's why people start support groups.


It's the fear you have to overcome. The fear is what will keep you from seeking out friends who can help you. And realizing you're not alone makes it ten times easier.

It's better to make the u-turn.

As a delivery driver, I have to use the GPS navigation on my phone to find many places. Usually, it turns out really well. I stick in an address, it tells me when to make a turn, and I get where I need to be.

But, every once in a while, I end up heading in the wrong direction. I'm not paying attention and think it said to take a right instead of a left so I make a wrong turn, or I just miss the street and go a bit farther than I really need to. When this happens, my GPS never suggests to take a u-turn. I don't know why, but it always just recalculates a new route. It usually tries to make me do a circle around the block so I come back up the street the same way.

It's so easy to do the same thing in life. Easier than it is with driving cause you don't have a turn-by-turn set of directions for life. You can say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or miss an opportunity you should've taken.

When that happens, I think we try to do just like my GPS. We try to find a way to circle back around discreetly so we don't have to admit we made a mistake.

But, the thing is, circling back around can take forever compared to just making a u-turn. 

Thinking everyone in the room is judging you.

I'm pretty sure it's happened to all of us at some point. You say something stupid while you had everyone's attention, and now they're all judging you for your stupidity. The guy with the glasses that belong in the 90s, the girl with the whiny voice, the know-it-all who corrects every fact, and that person who you didn't even think was really listening because they were too busy updating their Facebook. Now you're almost certain they're updating it to mock you.


It would be one thing if these people were on your level, but your voice is clear, your glasses are modern, you aren't a nerd, and you'd rather be disconnected from the internet and spend real time with people. You're better than they are. So that they would judge you makes it burn a little stronger.


Maybe you haven't encountered this. Maybe you're getting a glimpse of what life looks like to someone overly prideful. And maybe I'm being way to obvious about what I'm trying to get at: you usually end up thinking everyone in the room is judging you because you are judging everyone in the room.


The college group from my church is spending the summer going through Romans, and a few weeks back, we talked about Romans 2 and judgement. For those of you unfamiliar with the passage, here's a key verse (Romans 2:1):


You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.


As Christians, I think we can often take this as not judging non-christians. But, it goes further than that. It's a blanket statement. We are not to judge that 'guy who claims to be Christian but only shows up to church on Easter' as much as we aren't supposed to judge anyone else.


The overall point here is that if you find yourself feeling judged, it's very likely that it is because you're judging others. And that's something we all need to keep in check because it can destroy relationships.

Insomnia.

For some reason, I'm having difficulty falling asleep this summer. Which is insane, because I'm usually the guy who can fall asleep with noise and lights and an uncomfortable bed. And it's a little ironic, because right before I was home for summer I watched several movies about guys with insomnia. One murdered a man. Another killed someone in a hit-and-run. The other worked the night shift at a grocery store. Hopefully, I can beat the odds.

An unexpected hiatus.

Summer got kind of busy.

Among other things, this blog has been neglected. I keep filling up my springpad account with ideas, but haven't gotten around to fleshing many out.

But, I've been reading a blog about writing blogs, and one of his suggestions is consistent posting. When I made this public and starting linking it to my facebook, I said roughly 1-2 posts a week, but didn't give much more structure.

So, I'm going to give it some more structure. I'm going to try to consistently post just once a week, by Tuesday night. (Meaning anytime before I go to bed on Tuesdays.)

This is not this week's post. That will come later today.

Black Swan.

In Black Swan, they are performing the ballet Swan Lake. This ballet has two main characters, the white swan and the black swan. To play each character, Natalie Portman has to take on two very different styles of dancing. For the white swan, she has to strive for perfection. She has to nail her technique on every move. For the black swan, it's different. The black swan is more of a free spirit. She has to let emotions take control over the technique she knows. An error is acceptable in pursuit of capturing the wild and unpredictable nature of her character.

As I watched, I immediately began to think of how the same contrast in styles comes about in music. I am very much a white swan when it comes to music. I know how to play because I know what note to play when. I can play lead guitar, but only within the limits of the scales I've memorized. I can't just play freely without a plan. I can't stand to mess up.

But, lots of my musical friends are just the opposite. They play freely from whatever feels right. They may or may not know the scale they should be in, but it doesn't really matter. They might play some wrong notes in the pursuit of finding what they want to play, but it only makes it sound that much better.

If you think about it, they're almost always those two general groups you can fit it. You're either naturally pretty good and wing it, or you take the time to prepare and learn how it's done.

Another example is public speaking. I generally wing it. I'll study my subject, make a powerpoint and notecards with some bullets of important points, but I don't really have a cut and dry speech prepared. I just know what I'm talking about and talk. Other people do prepare nearly every word. They practice it multiple times and memorize everything so they can run straight through it.

I don't think either one of the two is better than the other. They're just different styles with their own benefits.

So what are you more of? A black swan or white swan?

Fear.

Tornadoes terrify me. I've always been terrified of them. Not that it really matters. I've never really been anywhere tornadoes are common.

Leaving for college was a scary prospect. I didn't know how it would turn out, and I spent a lot of time thinking about how things would go, and trying to plan what I wanted to happen.

Being at the Grand Canyon, getting anywhere near the edge (where it had railings) was a challenge. I wanted to take a picture looking straight down. It should've taken me 10 seconds to take. It took at least 20 times that.

Fear is a really funny thing, if you think about it. It's usually pretty irrational. I shouldn't be scared of tornadoes since they don't happen where I live. College should've been exciting to look forward to. I shouldn't have been scared of the edge since there was railing. But I was.

Fear got me thinking. What is it that really scares me? What is it that I'm so terrified of that it becomes near disabling?

You what I discovered? It's uncertainty.

Uncertainty of when or where a tornado will hit.

Uncertainty of what will happen at college.

Uncertainty of how far down the canyon goes, and whether or not I'd be clumsy enough to trip and fall.

Uncertainty in circumstance.

Uncertainty in the future.

Uncertainty in myself.

I've always thought that I'd much rather live in a hurricane prone place than a tornado prone place, and at first it doesn't make sense. Hurricanes are much more powerful and devastating. Tornadoes are quick and fleeting. But, in context of the fact I'm afraid of uncertainty, it makes sense. You know when a hurricane is coming, usually with a few days warning. Tornadoes pop out of nowhere. You don't know where to expect them.

With the Grand Canyon, it's the fact that I can't see straight down the edge until I'm right there at the edge. I didn't know what it was, and it frightened me.

I'm the kind of guy who likes having a plan and sticking to it. One of the things that bothers me most is having a plan, but then doing something different. Because it's uncertain. With a plan, I know what to expect.

Likewise, I like doing things myself. Because I know myself. I know exactly what I can expect. I know pretty much how it'll turn out. Put that in the hands of someone else, and suddenly I can't be so sure. Not that everyone else isn't capable, but I don't have direct control, so there's an element of uncertainty.

This year, God has been teaching me a lot about my fears. It's not that they're silly or ridiculous. But it's that He trumps them.

When I'm scared that I'm going to screw up, I know God has promised that I am a loved son.

When I'm scared that my plans are going to fall apart, I can depend on God's promise for plans greater than any I can dream up.

When I'm scared of circumstances working against me, I can trust that God is sovereign.

Preconceived Ideas.

New Mexico is all desert. Arizona is all desert. They're hot. The sun just beats down on you all the time.

Wrong.

New Mexico was cold, and Arizona has a bunch of trees. It's home a a national forest, actually. And it snowed today.

Anyways, I think people (or at least me) have lots of preconceived ideas about things they really don't know anything about. And they're probably mostly wrong.

I know. Today is deep. (I'm really tired.)

Discernment.

Recently talked about spiritual discernment in discipleship. Hopefully Jordan Maroon doesn't read this and wonder if I was listening.


My main question for Jordan when we talked was just "How do we discern God's will for certain situations?"


God speaks to us in various ways. The notable ones are:

- The Bible

- Relationships

- Circumstances

The Bible is the priamary source. There is no other way God will speak that would contradict the Bible. Which is pretty significant. It tells us that if we're really trying to discern God's will in some specific situation, it's not just about praying and sitting there till you hear a voice from the clouds. It's actively pursuing and trying to figure out what God has already told us.

A second way is through our relationships. God is working in our friends, and hopefully our Christian friends are seeking God's will. Which, if they are, then they'll have been in God's word and know which direction to point you.

Lastly, there's circumstances. This is the least important, but we make it out to be the most important. We pray about whether we should do something and wait to see how the circumstance turn out. We wait to see if a door is going to be opened or closed. And it's not to say that God doesn't work through this, but it's not as common. Blindly walking through whatever door is open doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be doing God's will. Neither is it as glorifying to God as actively seeking Him out is.

Now, things can get sticky at times. So here's a couple "add-ons" that we discussed too:

Sometimes, there can be multiple right answers and it's less about choosing what is 'more right' and seeking God and following where you think he's leading. For instance, if spring break is coming up, you've got multiple mission trip opportunities, and you don't know which one you should go on. Is going on any mission trip going to be 'wrong'? No. Is one mission trip 'more right'? Maybe. But if you seek God's will and end up making a choice for the 'less right' option, that's going to glorify God more than just arbitrarily picking the option that's 'more right'.

Sometimes you just need to decide on something and if it's wrong, let God correct you. Waiting for an answer could be the wrong thing to do. If all of the sudden, you've got a free hour and you know of multiple things you could do, it'd be wrong to wait for that hour to try to decide what to do. Cause then you've missed your opportunity.

God can redeem any situation. Making a wrong choice that you'll have to live with doesn't mean God can't work through you where you're at. God is all about redemption. So, don't let a bad decision distract you from discern where God wants to take you from there.

Roadtrippin'

It's strange to think I'm in the middle of Lousiana right now. A week ago I was in Virginia. Charlotte, and Chapel Hill before that. A week from now, I'll be in LA. And I'll be in Dallas, at the Grand Canyon, Salt Lake City, and Seattle on between.

It's strange cause these are significant places. You see movies centered around them. And I'm just passing through. Just getting a small glimpse of what each has to offer.

That was a weird part about driving to Texas over spring break for me. We drove through Vicksburg and that got me excited. It's a significant part of the civil war. But, it's not significant part of getting to Texas. It's probably ten minutes or less of interstate with no historical significance.

But, that being said, getting a glimpse is way cooler than just seeing pictures or movies. Especially when you get to do it with awesome people like Will Hipschman.

It's going to be a great trip.

The Adventure Begins

You may have noticed the lack of a blog post or two last week. 'Why?' you may ask. Well, I was at Rockbridge having an excellent time with the worship track with limited internet and a lack of time for writing.

This week, I'm driving to Seattle with Will Hipschman. I know all of your hearts just fell. You think that since I'll be driving across the country you won't get to peek into my thoughts until I'm done. And that's where you'd be wrong.

It's actually quite the contrary. I hope to post daily this week - trip and non-trip posts.

Tell your friends, check back daily, and get ready for some writing that will hopefully make you laugh, make you think, and make you wish you were driving across the country.

How to use RSS feeds.

It has recently come to my attention that not as many people know about RSS feeds as I had assumed.

RSS feeds are links to various websites that let you know when the website is updated. I basically just use them for blogs so I know when new content is added without having to see a link somewhere or constantly check back.

To use them, you have to have an aggregator of sorts. I use and recommend Google Reader. I actually don't even know about any other RSS readers.

Once you've signed up for Google Reader, in the top left corner there's a button that says "add subscription". You click on that, enter the web address of the site you want to stay up to date on (e.g., inthisverymoment.blogspot.com) and it'll will search that site to find it's RSS feed.

Alternatively, some sites (like my photoblog, bradnemitz.web.unc.edu) offer a link directly to RSS feeds. You should be able to click that link and having open a webpage asking if you would like to subscribe to the feed.

Not all websites offer RSS, but many do, and it's a great way to keep up.

"Hovering"

Exam week has wonderfully highlighted two behaviors that happen all the time around college.

First, it's finals so everyone wants to study. Everywhere. Typically, you might have to walk around a little bit to find a table, but this week, you usually have to employ a technique I call "hovering". Other people might call it "finding the people who look most likely to leave first and stalking their table until they leave. Then you pounce on it like a tiger because you never know who else might be trying to stalk the table too and you don't want to lose out."

This is great if you get a table this way, (it's exactly how I got the table I wrote the first draft of this at) but it get's really awkward if you're being the stalked. I never know if I should make it obvious that I'm not done yet, or if I should hurry up and finish so other people have some space. Occasionally, I get the urge to cut people off and just stay at my table, even if I don't have a good reason to if they're being obnoxious about it. Kinda like when you get the urge to not let the obnoxious driver who tries to jump to the front of the line over in front of me.

Anyways, I feel like I've seen this happen 10x more this past week, but it's always a problem. Especially in the dining halls right at lunch or dinner. And actually, if you encounter the meal variety, you'll get some people who are the "I'm going to sit down at your table because there's an open seat. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you having a private conversation? What's it about?"

Secondly, I talked about awkward interactions with people you know already, but what about that person you don't know? You know it happens. You're both headed opposite directions (or maybe you're stalking their table and they look up) and you have a moment of unexpected eye contact. It's in that moment you realize that your face, though rightfully so due to the lack of seating, lack of sleep, and stress of exams, carries an expression that says you're going to kill someone if you have to carry your laptop and 20 lbs of books for another five minutes. But now you're staring straight into someone's soul through their innocent eyes and you're worried they're going to think that expression is directed at them, so you force a nice little fake smile. The kind where you really just shove the corners of your mouth up. You don't even try for a toothy smile cause you know they're probably coffee stained (you can't pull an all-nighter without any coffee), and you just don't have enough time to figure out which muscle it is that makes your 'eyes smile'.

Somehow, this seems to do the trick cause you get the same sort of fake smile back and then continue on your way.

Hold up.

Bin Laden is dead.

Is joy the appropriate response? Should we, as Christians, rejoice that a man, even if he was evil, has died?

Even more, should we thank God he's dead?

Now, I do think justice should be served as best as we can serve it. But, I don't believe that includes killing anyone. Life is short enough already. I believe as Christians, we should hope that everyone have as much opportunity to be saved as possible. And though many people may be considering whether or not you can be saved after death, I believe that is not the truth (Luke 16:19-31). So, killing someone cuts their life, and their chances of being saved, short.

Additionally, I believe that the Bible teaches all sins are equal. (James 2:10 says "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.) That means you and I are no better than Osama Bin Laden. If he deserves eternal damnation, then so do we.

But, Christ died on the cross so that whoever calls upon his name can be saved (John 3:16). There is no sin that Jesus cannot overcome. Is that not what our churches teach? Is that not what we preach to liars, addicts, and thiefs? Why then, should that not also include murderers? Or mass murders?

I understand the pain that can be caused by losing a loved one. Any wrongdoing against you causes pain. and it's not easy to forgive that someone who has wronged you. But yet again, that's what the Bible tells us to do. We're to forgive someone seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)

Furthermore, the Bible says ‎"Do not rejoice when your enemies fall, and do not let your heart be glad when they stumble..." (Proverbs 24:17). I was unfamiliar with that verse until tonight, but a friend posted it on their facebook and it applies perfectly here.

Do you need more reasons to not be rejoicing?

I hope I make this clear. I don't like Osama Bin Laden. He did terrible things. But he is equally welcome to God's grace and mercy. He is loved by God, just as you, I, and the rest of the world are. Celebrating and thanking God for his death is an inappropriate response.


UPDATE:
After reading more from people who share my view, I realized I missed two other Biblical examples (in case you really do need more reasons).

Romans 12:9-21
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.



Ezekiel 33:11
Say to them, "As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live."




UPDATE #2:
This is not about whether this war is right or wrong, or  whether killing Bin Laden was right or wrong, or even whether killing anyone is right or wrong. It's about not rejoicing over death. My second paragraph is a bridge to that end, not a commentary on capital punishment.

Gods of Israel.

What's that you say? You've read the Old Testament and Israel only believed in the true God?

Well, you'd be right, in a way.

Also, wrong in a way.

I heard a podcast the other day about by Archeologist Bill Dever who says that in addition to the Hebrew god Yahweh, ancient Israelites may have worshipped a Canaanite female goddess called Asherah. Not necessarily the leaders of Israel, but the general mass of everyday people.

Shocked? You shouldn't really be. Remember how much the Old Testament condemned polytheism? It's probably because it was such a problem with people.

What Dever goes on to say, is that for most people, they most likely still considered Yahweh the supreme being, but just added Asherah on as a lower goddess, perhaps Yahweh's wife. That's different than what I usually picture at least. When I read about God telling the Israelites that they're to have no other gods, I picture some silly people completely forgetting about God to worship some pagan god.

As Christians, I think this is a picture of God and Asherah is one we can relate to a lot better. I know I can at least. In church we'll talk about idols and how we need to put God first. We'll talk about how different things in life can be idols to us, but it doesn't resonate because we don't let these things take God's place. We don't throw out Christianity for our idols. They just add on. Just like the Israelites added on Asherah.

But adding on is just as bad. Maybe it's worse. If you completely let something completely replace God, it's easy to spot. It's easy to have friends call you out on. When you've just got an addition, it's much more difficult to spot.


*the podcast I listened to can be found here, if you're interested.

Eating three lunches (or the quickest way to get fat).

I like being personable. It's great to have the chance to sit down with a friend and have a one-on-one talk about life. To get the chance to hear what's really going on in their lives. And I feel like that's what a large part of college is about: building relationships.

But there are so many people at college. So many.

Also, it's really hard to tell someone no. If they want to invest in your life and share part of themselves, are you really going to say no? Really?

So, sometimes, you end up having to double or triple-book lunch. (A problem that somehow still persists despite near OCD Google calendar organization.) How do you deal with it?


Chances are if you forgot about your previously scheduled lunch date and planned another, you might forget your first one entirely. This gets extremely awkward if you told both people you'd meet at the same place.

"Hi. Waiting on someone?"

"Yep. I'm getting lunch with my friends Brad today."

"What a crazy random happenstance! I'm waiting on a Brad too."

Get used to asking "Do you like coffee?" What's that? You don't like coffee? Maybe you should try to develop a taste for it. Or at least be able to stand it. Text that second lunch date and switch it to a coffee break. You'll need the caffeine to make through to your double-booked dinner anyways. (If you plan to meet multiple people over coffee, make sure you stick to the same coffee shop so you can take full advantage of those free refills.)


This is a dangerous one. You realize you scheduled two people and decide that you'll have an awesome friend group collision lunch. They've never met before, but it doesn't matter. They're both friends with you, so they'll get along, right?


You get fat from eating three lunches everyday (if it makes you feels better, you can call them different things like hobbits do: breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, etc.). But don't worry about your weight. What really matters is that you're building up your relationships. (While building up plaque in your veins. It's like a two-for-one deal!)

So, next time you get lunch-merged on by a caffeine-addicted friend making their way towards obesity, remember: they're doing it for the relationships.

Love.

Easter is in two days, and that's gotten me thinking a bit about love and how we can show love to each other since Easter is really about how God showed His love for us.

First off, I love having people ask me questions and really listen. I love when people comment on my pictures, or use them as their profile pic. I love having you guys comment on my blog posts. I love getting encouragement. I love having people actively pursuing my friendship. I love having people in my life who aren't afraid to ask me tough questions and call me out. I love having people who can answer other types of tough questions and point me to the Bible and to Christ.

All of those things make me feel wonderful.

But.....I fail miserably at doing the same things for other people.

I wish I could say I was habitually the kind of person who comments, compliments and encourages, pursues, asks and answers tough questions, points people to Christ, and does all of the things I love having people do for me. But the truth is that I really don't. Not as much as I should. I usually have to be actively thinking about it.

What's sad is that I do actively think about it for myself. I'll post an album to facebook and keep checking back to see if people have commented or liked anything yet. I'll continually check my Google analytics and see how many visits my blog has gotten. (I can almost assure that I'll be doing that right after I post this.)

Shouldn't it be the other way around? In John 13:34 Jesus says to love one another as he loved us. Mark 12:30-31 says to first love God and then love others as you love yourself. 

If you can relate with me, you may be thinking, "Okay, great. I should be more loving. I need to do that intentionally and through God. Wait - how am I going to do that?" I have two words for you: Love Languages.

There was an author a few years ago who wrote a book called "The 5 Love Languages". The concept is simple: he proposes that people give and receive love primarily in these five ways. They are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. If you're able to recognize the ways in which your friends typically feel the most loved, then you can know how to love on them.

If you're interesting in finding out how you typically feel most loved, you can go here and take a quick 30 question assessment. At the end, you'll see something like this (these are my results):

Your Scores

8	Words of Affirmation
11	Quality Time
0	Receiving Gifts
5	Acts of Service
6	Physical Touch

Now that you know your love language, here’s some more information you might not have realized about it, and why certain behaviors affect you more than others.

Your Love Language

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

The max you can get for any one category is 12, so, according to this assessment, I almost maxed out feeling most loved by just being with people. Secondly, I like being affirmed. Nearly tied are acts of service and physical touch. And, lastly, gifts aren't very important to me. That's all very true. It's basically what I'm trying to say in that opening paragraph (which I wrote before I took this assessment).

I encourage you to take five minutes and figure out how you best receive love. If you're open to it, post it on here as a comment so I can know how to love you best. Post it on facebook so your friends can. Tell some people close to you. Encourage them to take it and let you know how they receive love.

So, in a nutshell, God calls us to love one another and I think one of the most practical things we can do with that is loving people in the ways that actually make them feel loved the most. And here is a place you can figure out what that is.

(*I considered leaving out my results and talking about things I like because I don't want this to be about what you could do for me. It's meant to emphasize how you can love on the people around you. But, at the end, I ask you to be open and share your heart, so I didn't think it was fair to not also be open about myself.)

The awkward (almost) interactions of people who (sort of) know each other.

By the end of this post, you will almost certainly be judging me. Some of these things are things I've had happen to me. Others I've done, and probably shouldn't have. So, you'll judge me. And that's perfectly okay. I'm pretty sure you've done similar things.

You know the people I'm going to be talking about. The friend of your friend. You got dinner with them once, maybe twice, but can't remember their name. You have the same group friends, or you had a class last semester. You're in a club together and had the obligatory talk about your majors and hometowns the first night, but have seen each other since.

And now, you see them off in the distance, walking towards you while you walk towards them. What do you do? You don't know them well enough to say hello. They probably won't recognize you. But what if they do recognize you? You don't want to be a jerk and ignore them. You have to have a reason to not say hello.

I've identified a few of the ways this happens:

The Fake Text

This is by far the most common, and perhaps the most effective. You simply pull out your phone and pretend you just received a very important text message. It happens to be very deep and intense, you know, because texts usually are. As such, it takes you a good long while to type up a reply. Coincidentally, it takes just long enough for you to pass this person.

This technique allows them to still greet you, in which case you can be surprised to see them and offer your own greeting in reply. You successfully avoid awkward eye contact, but still allow for an exchange of hellos if they notice you.

The Fake Call

I'm not certain I've actually seen this one in action, but it makes enough sense. I'm sure someone has used it. You simply  pretend to suddenly have received a phone call. It's probably from your mom so you can't not answer it, obviously.

This one gives you an excuse for not verbally acknowledging the other person, and if you're caught up in your conversation enough, reason to not nod or otherwise make a gesture. This does not protect you from awkward eye contact. Also, you better make sure your phone is on silent. You don't want it ringing while you're in the middle of a fake call.

The Death Stare

What's the really the awkward part about seeing someone and not knowing whether to say something? The eye contact. If you make eye contact, they absolutely know that you saw them and didn't say something. And for some reason, when you recognize someone, it's impossibly hard to not look at them. So, the death stare isn't an angry sort of stare, but more of a strict denial of your natural tendency to look at them. You stare straight ahead as if you're caught up in a little own world of your own. Who could blame you for not noticing?

The Wave

You're in the middle of deciding what you're going to do. Your hand heads for your pocket as you consider the fake text, when all of the sudden, everything is made clear: they wave at you. Or so you think. You happily wave back, glad that they remembered you, when you realize it's actually someone behind you they're waving at. At this point, you have two choices: put your hand down as inconspicuously as possible, or pretend that you're waving at someone behind them. Both of these choices are hard to pull off. You're pretty stuck here.

Did I miss anything?

Why people call me an old man.

Since at least freshman year in high school, I've had people tell me I'm an old man. Here's why:

1. If you are in my dorm late into the evening, I will inevitably offer you hot chocolate or coffee at some point.
2. I really want to wear tweed suits with the reinforced elbows and carry around a briefcase and pipe.
3. I like wearing the Western Snap button shirts.
4. I'm stubborn.
5. I can be grumpy. Usually if I haven't had enough sleep.
6. Sometimes, I grunt unnecessarily doing simple things like sitting down.
7. I like patterns. I go to restaurants and order the same things. If possible, I go at the same time on the same day of the week.
8. The opposite of 7. If there has been a pattern, I don't like changing it.
9. I forget things. A lot. Right now I'm stuck cause I can't remember more reasons I'm an old man, but I know there are more.
10. Since I forget things, I tell the same stories over and over, and I don't even realize it until you steal my punch line.

And that's where I ran out of things I could think of, so I asked some friends who've called me an old man why:

"You like to just sit around. You read old books. You're grumpy sometimes. Basically you just do what old men do except you have real teeth."

"The things you say the things you wear and that you're interested in. You listen to and like old music. "


So there you have it. Unless I missed something, which I probably did. In which case you can add it as a comment.

Leadership.

(To the people who told me they liked reading my blog because I didn't write ridiculously long posts: I'm sorry. I won't be offended if you skim.)

I've been thinking a lot about leadership recently because I've been watching Band of Brothers, had a leadership position, applied for IV leadership, and have had friends talk about disappointment in leaders over them. So, I thought I might as well blog about it.

I've been exposed to leadership in many different contexts and I think they've all got something to teach us about how to lead well.

In high school I took JROTC which largely taught about how to be a good leader, and that's where I'm going to start. JROTC teaches that leadership is "the art of influencing others to get the job done." They propose three ways to complete this: The directing leader who gives clear instructions, the participating leader who involves subordinates in the decision making process, and the delegating leader who gives decision making authority to subordinates. Each has an appropriate time. The directing leader is essential when subordinates don't know what to do or there is little time. The delegating leader is good for situations where the subordinates have experience and know what to do. Finally, the participating leader is good for most other situations. Those are good general statements about leading, but they don't tell you very practically what to do.

Next up is Band of Brothers. There are two episodes where leadership and the lack of it are the focus of the episode.

Firstly, there's one about Major Richard Winters. From the first episode, you know he's the kind of leader you want to follow. He respects his troops but knows where to draw the line. He's decisive and confident. But, there's one episode that exemplifies how he was a great leader. He and his company were trapped in enemy territory and had been for a day or two. He constructed a plan to get him and his men out of there by taking out the nearby outpost. He did this by first getting into position and then running out in front while his men gave covering fire. After a  minute, he had them follow behind. Let me make that clear: he ran directly at an enemy camp, depending on his men to cover him. He didn't look back to see if they were following, but trusted them to do what they needed to. So here's my first two leadership points:

1) Lead by example. If you ask people to do something, do it yourself first. If you're asking men to risk their lives running towards the enemy, you better be doing the exact same things.

2) Trust those you lead. Trusting others is one of the quickest ways to earn their trust. Same goes for respect.

Secondly, there are two other people from Band of Brothers I want to focus on: Captain Ronald Speirs and First Lieutenant Norman Dike. Lt. Dike was leading the company's assault on a city but didn't know what he was doing at all. He ordered his men to stop in the middle of an open field because he was confused and many of them got shot because of it. Once near the city, he couldn't make a decision on how to continue the assault. After a long time, he ordered one platoon to circle around and attack from the other side while the second platoon attacked from their current position. Due to their already lowered numbers, that was a horrible call. Major Winters, now the battalion commander, ordered Speirs to relieve Dike. Speirs, once at the front of the attack, reorganized the attack. Only the other platoon was already around back and there was no way to relay the command. So, Speirs got up and ran through the city to relay the command verbally. That city full of German soldiers trying to kill them. Not only that, but once he relayed the command, he ran back to through the city to his platoon to lead the charge into the city. Which brings me to my next few points:

3) Be decisive. No one likes a leader who just deliberates on what to do for hours. People like a leader that leads and gets stuff done. That takes decisions.

4) Show that you can be trusted. Trust is essential to any relationship, including leader-follower, so it gets two points.

I have a few more points that I don't have Band of Brothers examples for:

5) Make sure you have open communication with the group you're leading. If they aren't comfortable with or if they don't have a platform to propose ideas and offer critiques, then they will start to resent you when things go differently than they wanted, and you won't have any clue.

6) Know your own strength and weaknesses, and take those into account. For me, I'm very prideful. I tend to think that whatever way I do something will be the best. So, If I'm leading a group, and I don't take that weakness into consideration, I likely will end up leading more dictatorially, and that's not good. I'm not the best at everything, and I need to consciously account for that and make sure I'm not leading like I am.

7) Know the strengths and weaknesses of your group. Don't have people do things they aren't good at - that's asking for failure.

I have one more point about leadership.

8) Lead with humility.

As a Christian, I should ultimately look to God as my example of what a leader looks like and that is best seen in Jesus' life on earth. Jesus was extremely humble. Not only did he not brag about himself and how awesome he was, but he took one of the lowliest of tasks and washed his followers feet. We should follow suit.

I'm sure there have been hundreds or thousands of books written on leadership, so I doubt that my ten paragraph or so blog post is all you need to know to be a great leader, but hopefully it helps. Feel free to add on with your own points about leadership too.

How He Loves

You may or may not be familiar with this song, but it's one that's caused some controversy over the past year or two.

("If you’re not familiar with John Mark McMillan’s song “How He Loves”, first off tell me what it’s like to live in a cave. Do you pee in one corner of the cave or do you go outside to do your business and risk being mauled by a jaguar with your pants down?")

The song focuses on God's love for us, and in the second verse describes it saying "heaven meets earths like a sloppy wet kiss". Not everyone is a fan of that line. It's caused enough controversy to get it's own post on Stuff Christians Like (which is where that wonderful cave quote is stolen from).

In that blog post, the author considers whether or not the line should be changed, as it often is, to "unforeseen kiss", but I don't think that's even what we should be concerned about. There's bigger and better question here: are we missing the rest of the song? Have we really noticed the vivid descriptions of God's grace and mercy?

How much does that one line really matter? Obviously, every line in a worship song should be true to God's word, but when it's just an awkward metaphor and not a false teaching, it's rather irrelevant. The song isn't about heaven and earth making out, it's about God and His love for His people, and that's a beautiful story worth singing about. And not only that, but "How He Loves" gives us many other excellent metaphors to express what God's love, grace, and mercy look like.

"He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy." 

"If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking."

"We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes."

Maybe you haven't had any problems with this song. Maybe you have such a problem with it, you conveniently have to use the restroom every time it's being sung at your church. Either way, the point here is, whether it's this song or something else, don't let yourself get so caught up in little things you disagree with that you miss the bigger, much more important picture.

Wait, what is this?

This is my blog!

Umm... Why haven't I seen it before? You've got like 60 posts already.
That's because this blog started out as more of a journal. When it was first started, I kept it private. After a  while I started writing some less personal and more thoughtful posts, and I made it public so people wandering the interwebs could stumble upon it. And now, I figured I'd start promoting it.

Does that mean if I go back to the beginning of your blog, I can read your journal posts?
Nope. I hid most of those. Sorry.

So, this post isn't really that exciting to read, but you've got too many old posts to go through all of them. Which old posts should I read?
You should read Define: Sin, which is me processing what sin really is. You should also check out A faded picture which is one of my favorite posts that I've written.

How often are you going to post?
I'm shooting for 1-2 posts a week. I'm going to try to capture ideas whenever I have them, and then develop them into well-written posts. You might not get as many well-written posts with what's already on here.

What do you talk about?
There isn't one subject. There are some rants of things that bother me, some thoughtful posts about things I ponder, some insight into my mind and myself, some thoughts on God and religion, and some more informational type ones.

I like what you've written - how do I keep up?
I'll try to link any new posts to Facebook, but you might not always see them there. You can always use RSS to make sure you don't miss anything.

Why is it called "in this very moment..."?
Because, "in this moment..." was taken. It was inspired by the Starfield song by that same name. To me, it's what I try focus on: I can't change the past and I can't change the future. All you've really got is this moment.

I'm getting really bored of this post. What else could you possibly have to say?
Feel free to contact me through Facebook or at brad.nemitz@gmail.com if you want to talk about anything more (or if you just want to correct a grammatical or spelling error).

Everything is about to change.

Today feels strange. It's a little bit of the calm between storms. I just finished up a hectic few weeks, and I know I'm headed straight for another couple. But I also know these past few weeks just flew by me cause they were so busy. So I expect the next few will too. By then, school will be over. Seniors I've come to know and love will be leaving. I'll have final grades I can't change anymore. Relationships will have changed. I won't see some of my closest friends for several months. I'll be halfway done with my college career. I'll have a job I go to every day. I'll be living back in Charlotte. My sister will nearly be married. One of my best friends will be off to boot camp.

Everything will be different.

And, right now, I feel like I'm standing at the door to airplane, just waiting for my turn to jump. I've made similar jumps, and always survived, but that doesn't make staring down at 30,000 feet any less terrifying.

Worship songs.

I love worship songs. There are some great ones out there. But there's one thing that bothers me: when the song lyrics include an action.

Now, what I mean by that is when the lyrics say something like "I lift my hands up", because 90% of the time, no one is actually raising their hands. Something about that seems very wrong. To sing those words without raising your hands is a blatant lie. But then, if you raise your hand solely because the song says to, that's also kinda bad cause you're just doing something the song says to. You're not raising your hands in worship. So, you get stuck in a lose-lose.

The other part of this is that the same song that has a lie about having hands lifted up most likely also has a line about some other action. It probably talks about trusting God or trusting him, and for me that's problematic to some extent. You just lied about raising your hands. So how can anything else you say be trusted?

I know that's kind of silly, because it's really about your heart. But, then again, I feel pretty strongly about honesty, so forcing people into a lie in worship doesn't sit well with me.