There's one box...

...that I never unpacked after I got home from college. "Why not?" you may ask. Well, there is a bundle of letters in that box. All from this one person (you already know who it is, so why am I not being forward about it? I dunno). But I couldn't handle seeing them. They connect me to another time that I miss dearly and I couldn't take another reminder. Today, I'm alright with them - as a bundle. Yet, I still cannot take a letter out and read it. That would still hurt too much. I'm too emotionally attached to this person.

I talked to my former youth pastor on Monday about how emotionally attached I am and how I should deal with that coming into my sophomore year of college. Because, I feel like I could wait for a year and hope that being in the same place again will bring back what was. But that's dumb. I could date someone else this year. But I'm so emotionally attached still that it wouldn't be fair to this new girlfriend. I wouldn't be invested in the relationship. So that leaves me with doing nothing - but that feels a whole lot like my first option, unless I'm looking for a relationship, and then it starts to feel a whole lot like my second option. My pastor's advice: pray about it. It's been a healthy relationship that could continue in the future if it's God's will. But, if it isn't, it's still been a good relationship that's helped me become who I am today. And God will give me the wisdom to discern if only I ask. The Bible promises that exactly. It probably won't be tomorrow, and maybe not even the next day, but God will give me the wisdom. So let's see where it goes. I'm as much nervous as I am excited about this school year.

Advice.

I'm usually the kind of person that asks for advice on anything and everything. I like hearing other people's opinions on stuff I ask them about.

On the other hand, I've found that I HATE advice when I don't ask for it. That stems from me hating when other people tell me how to live (or even just how to do something). Which is because, if I don't ask you about it, then I obviously have it figured out or will have it figured out on my own. If I wanted help, believe me, I would've asked. But that itself stems from stupid ol' pride.

You see...

...it's not that I'm trying to hold on to something that's already gone, it's that I never actually let it go.

One big ball of confusion.

That describes my understanding of almost all of my life.

Body Clock.

People's bodies are amazing. They really are. But one thing sticking out to me right now is the body's ability to keep track of time, and more importantly, to prepare for certain things based on the schedule it has been given. For instance, if you wake up at 7 every day, your body should get used to it and naturally wake up at 7. That's crazy.

I have a theory. I think our bodies can do the same thing with emotions. For week after week, I went to Kayla's house on Tuesday nights. It was our date night. I would leave around 11, usually after sitting on the porch having a really nice talk. It's when I felt the most connected to her. Over the school year, I would call her on Tuesday nights. Usually starting around 9 or 10 and going to a little after 11. Again, one of the times I felt most connected to her. And now, it's a Tuesday night, shortly past eleven, and I miss her more than I usually do. I think my body is playing out the emotions I've felt on Tuesday nights at 11 over the past year and a half. It's kind of cool and it's kind of odd, but it definitely makes me miss Kayla so much more.

The cost to fill your tank.

People. Whether it takes you $30 or $50 to fill your gas tank, it has nothing to do with your gas mileage. It simply tells you how big your gas tanks it. Gas mileage is the number of miles traveled divided by the number of gallons of gas used. The size of your gas tank may be arbitrarily related to gas mileage in that the manufacturer doesn't want you to have to fill up too often so they will put in a bigger tank if you get bad mileage, but it is not directly or scientifically related to mileage. So stop bragging that it only takes $30 to fill your tank. That means nothing.

Opinions on Politics.

If you have one based in fact, I respect that. You have every right to logically argue your point of view and try to convince me that whatever is good or bad.

If you have one that is based on nothing more than bashing the political system because you don't think you like what's going on, please, keep it to yourself. You have no foundation whatsoever for your view, and sharing an uneducated opinion will do nothing more than incite supporters of the other side (most likely ones who also have no founding) to rally against you and those with your same view to rally behind you. What happens from then on? Bickering. It's pointless. And it frustrates me even more when God gets brought into it. I think things like "I hope Jesus comes back before this gets passed" or "Please pray for our president because he doesn't know what he's doing" are sacrilegious and, again, serve no purpose.

In particular, I'm talking about the recent health care bill. Many of my conservative friends are doing exactly what I described in the second paragraph and it makes me sick. Do I like the health care bill? I have no idea. But at least I know that I don't know enough about it to form an opinion, and that if I do research it enough to form an opinion, it will a be fact-based one that does not bash the opposing view.