Instantly.

Recently, I got this thing called Spotify. It's basically like a better version of Grooveshark, for those of you unfamiliar with it. I can stream whatever song I want to listen to, almost instantly.

I also have Netflix which lets me watch most things I want to, whenever I want to.

(I might have just paused writing for about 20 minutes to watch That '70s Show.)

I also have a smartphone that lets me do both of those things, and pretty much whatever else I want to do. I can't remember something, and instead of wondering, I look it up. There's no need to ponder any question. I can know the answer.

But I want to ponder that. Is there value in wondering about things? I'm not worried about our generation having less patience. I'm not worried about us learning how to find information more than we learn information. I'm worried we're going to lose our imagination.

When you don't know something, your mind is free to create it's own answer. When you can know anything, your mind doesn't need to.

Before the plunge.

Have you ever been to a lake or quarry to jump off the rocks into the water?

It can be one of the most exhilarating things. You're fifteen feet above the water. Maybe you've done it before, or maybe it's your first time. It might take a little bit of convincing yourself, or maybe you're able to just ignore your inclination to not hurl yourself off high places for a split-second. Either way, you take a few steps, and leap into the air.

Taking a day off.

Last Tuesday was wonderful. Why is that? I slept til 11. Then I did nothing much the entire day. Sure, I went out for lunch with my dad, and visited my mom in the hospital, but I didn't do anything draining.

I think I miss that a lot of times. I generally like doing stuff, and so I will. I'll fill my entire week with things until I finally get so worn out I realize I haven't had a day off in ages.

During the school year, it's a little more apparent and easier to manage since weekends are always the weekend. It forces you to relax at least a little. But, this summer, a weekend might mean I spend 20 hours of it working, and I miss my chance to have a day to myself.

So, that's why last week I skipped writing a blog post.

When stakes get high.

I've only taken one psychology class, so I can't claim to know anything about how our brains really work. But I'm going to make assumptions anyways.


I think that humans have experiences on just one scale. Only one.


Let's say this is just a 1 to 10 scale. 1 is mundane life. 10 is your most significant experience. So, what happens is that when you're a little kid, you expand your scale all the time. Your first time up a lighthouse is a 10, because it's the coolest thing you've done so far. Later on in life, you break an arm, and now that's a little more emotional situation, so that's your 10.


It goes on like that. Each experience that outdoes the last sets a new 10, til eventually your old 10 (like climbing up a lighthouse) is only a 2 on your newest scale.


And I think there comes a point where one experience sticks out beyond the rest, and your scale doesn't really expand much more. You get set in a routine, and not much stretches you anymore.


One day it will expand, though. Something will fight for a new 10.


But, when that happens, it's not about the new experience as much as it is how you respond to them.


So, how do you respond when you're challenged beyond anything you've ever done?


-----


This post is particularly fitting this week because of what's going on with my mom. For those of you who haven't heard, doctors found a tumor in her pancreas and identified it as cancer a couple weeks ago. It was discovered very early, and they should be able to remove it. Tomorrow, she's having that surgery to have the tumor removed.


If you want to know more and/or keep up to date with what's going on, you can check out  http://www.caringbridge.org/vi​sit/dinemitz.

The lie is that you're all alone.

It's hard to be vulnerable. It's something that everyone struggles with at some point. Whether it's opening up with a significant other or disagreeing with someone who doesn't share your opinions, we've run into it at some point.

What else I've discovered is that it's hard to be vulnerable on a blog. In a post that anyone, anywhere can see.

Just a few months ago, when I made this blog public, I wrote a humorous post about the types of interactions people have. That post got tons of views. So, I tried to keep writing funny posts. I felt like that's what people wanted to read, so I was going to try to fit what I wanted to write into that.

But, this isn't really a humor blog. This isn't "Stuff Christians Like". I write funny things every once in a while, but for the most part it's more serious.

So, as I started running out of funny things to say, I started opening up a little bit more and being a bit more vulnerable. I started writing my opinions on issues that people might disagree with.

In particular, I shared my view on the death of Osama bin Laden. I was sitting in the library next to a friend who agreed with my view and started defending himself on facebook. I felt like it was just us two, but having someone else was enough to get me past the fear of being vulnerable and judged, and I wrote a blog post on my thoughts.

Remember when I said anyone, anywhere can see what I post? That night, I felt it. I had many people disagree with me. I even had a church pastor criticize my use of the Bible. But, I also had just as many people who agreed with me.

But, that's just a small example that points to a bigger truth: You are not alone.

The lie that satan tries to feed each and every one of us is that we're the only one with our problem, whether that's addiction, pride, anger, trust, or anything else. If you believe you're alone, you lose hope. You become ashamed. You don't reach out in fear of judgement.

But, you're not alone. Tons of people have had those issues. That's why people start support groups.


It's the fear you have to overcome. The fear is what will keep you from seeking out friends who can help you. And realizing you're not alone makes it ten times easier.

It's better to make the u-turn.

As a delivery driver, I have to use the GPS navigation on my phone to find many places. Usually, it turns out really well. I stick in an address, it tells me when to make a turn, and I get where I need to be.

But, every once in a while, I end up heading in the wrong direction. I'm not paying attention and think it said to take a right instead of a left so I make a wrong turn, or I just miss the street and go a bit farther than I really need to. When this happens, my GPS never suggests to take a u-turn. I don't know why, but it always just recalculates a new route. It usually tries to make me do a circle around the block so I come back up the street the same way.

It's so easy to do the same thing in life. Easier than it is with driving cause you don't have a turn-by-turn set of directions for life. You can say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or miss an opportunity you should've taken.

When that happens, I think we try to do just like my GPS. We try to find a way to circle back around discreetly so we don't have to admit we made a mistake.

But, the thing is, circling back around can take forever compared to just making a u-turn. 

Thinking everyone in the room is judging you.

I'm pretty sure it's happened to all of us at some point. You say something stupid while you had everyone's attention, and now they're all judging you for your stupidity. The guy with the glasses that belong in the 90s, the girl with the whiny voice, the know-it-all who corrects every fact, and that person who you didn't even think was really listening because they were too busy updating their Facebook. Now you're almost certain they're updating it to mock you.


It would be one thing if these people were on your level, but your voice is clear, your glasses are modern, you aren't a nerd, and you'd rather be disconnected from the internet and spend real time with people. You're better than they are. So that they would judge you makes it burn a little stronger.


Maybe you haven't encountered this. Maybe you're getting a glimpse of what life looks like to someone overly prideful. And maybe I'm being way to obvious about what I'm trying to get at: you usually end up thinking everyone in the room is judging you because you are judging everyone in the room.


The college group from my church is spending the summer going through Romans, and a few weeks back, we talked about Romans 2 and judgement. For those of you unfamiliar with the passage, here's a key verse (Romans 2:1):


You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.


As Christians, I think we can often take this as not judging non-christians. But, it goes further than that. It's a blanket statement. We are not to judge that 'guy who claims to be Christian but only shows up to church on Easter' as much as we aren't supposed to judge anyone else.


The overall point here is that if you find yourself feeling judged, it's very likely that it is because you're judging others. And that's something we all need to keep in check because it can destroy relationships.

Insomnia.

For some reason, I'm having difficulty falling asleep this summer. Which is insane, because I'm usually the guy who can fall asleep with noise and lights and an uncomfortable bed. And it's a little ironic, because right before I was home for summer I watched several movies about guys with insomnia. One murdered a man. Another killed someone in a hit-and-run. The other worked the night shift at a grocery store. Hopefully, I can beat the odds.

An unexpected hiatus.

Summer got kind of busy.

Among other things, this blog has been neglected. I keep filling up my springpad account with ideas, but haven't gotten around to fleshing many out.

But, I've been reading a blog about writing blogs, and one of his suggestions is consistent posting. When I made this public and starting linking it to my facebook, I said roughly 1-2 posts a week, but didn't give much more structure.

So, I'm going to give it some more structure. I'm going to try to consistently post just once a week, by Tuesday night. (Meaning anytime before I go to bed on Tuesdays.)

This is not this week's post. That will come later today.

Black Swan.

In Black Swan, they are performing the ballet Swan Lake. This ballet has two main characters, the white swan and the black swan. To play each character, Natalie Portman has to take on two very different styles of dancing. For the white swan, she has to strive for perfection. She has to nail her technique on every move. For the black swan, it's different. The black swan is more of a free spirit. She has to let emotions take control over the technique she knows. An error is acceptable in pursuit of capturing the wild and unpredictable nature of her character.

As I watched, I immediately began to think of how the same contrast in styles comes about in music. I am very much a white swan when it comes to music. I know how to play because I know what note to play when. I can play lead guitar, but only within the limits of the scales I've memorized. I can't just play freely without a plan. I can't stand to mess up.

But, lots of my musical friends are just the opposite. They play freely from whatever feels right. They may or may not know the scale they should be in, but it doesn't really matter. They might play some wrong notes in the pursuit of finding what they want to play, but it only makes it sound that much better.

If you think about it, they're almost always those two general groups you can fit it. You're either naturally pretty good and wing it, or you take the time to prepare and learn how it's done.

Another example is public speaking. I generally wing it. I'll study my subject, make a powerpoint and notecards with some bullets of important points, but I don't really have a cut and dry speech prepared. I just know what I'm talking about and talk. Other people do prepare nearly every word. They practice it multiple times and memorize everything so they can run straight through it.

I don't think either one of the two is better than the other. They're just different styles with their own benefits.

So what are you more of? A black swan or white swan?

Fear.

Tornadoes terrify me. I've always been terrified of them. Not that it really matters. I've never really been anywhere tornadoes are common.

Leaving for college was a scary prospect. I didn't know how it would turn out, and I spent a lot of time thinking about how things would go, and trying to plan what I wanted to happen.

Being at the Grand Canyon, getting anywhere near the edge (where it had railings) was a challenge. I wanted to take a picture looking straight down. It should've taken me 10 seconds to take. It took at least 20 times that.

Fear is a really funny thing, if you think about it. It's usually pretty irrational. I shouldn't be scared of tornadoes since they don't happen where I live. College should've been exciting to look forward to. I shouldn't have been scared of the edge since there was railing. But I was.

Fear got me thinking. What is it that really scares me? What is it that I'm so terrified of that it becomes near disabling?

You what I discovered? It's uncertainty.

Uncertainty of when or where a tornado will hit.

Uncertainty of what will happen at college.

Uncertainty of how far down the canyon goes, and whether or not I'd be clumsy enough to trip and fall.

Uncertainty in circumstance.

Uncertainty in the future.

Uncertainty in myself.

I've always thought that I'd much rather live in a hurricane prone place than a tornado prone place, and at first it doesn't make sense. Hurricanes are much more powerful and devastating. Tornadoes are quick and fleeting. But, in context of the fact I'm afraid of uncertainty, it makes sense. You know when a hurricane is coming, usually with a few days warning. Tornadoes pop out of nowhere. You don't know where to expect them.

With the Grand Canyon, it's the fact that I can't see straight down the edge until I'm right there at the edge. I didn't know what it was, and it frightened me.

I'm the kind of guy who likes having a plan and sticking to it. One of the things that bothers me most is having a plan, but then doing something different. Because it's uncertain. With a plan, I know what to expect.

Likewise, I like doing things myself. Because I know myself. I know exactly what I can expect. I know pretty much how it'll turn out. Put that in the hands of someone else, and suddenly I can't be so sure. Not that everyone else isn't capable, but I don't have direct control, so there's an element of uncertainty.

This year, God has been teaching me a lot about my fears. It's not that they're silly or ridiculous. But it's that He trumps them.

When I'm scared that I'm going to screw up, I know God has promised that I am a loved son.

When I'm scared that my plans are going to fall apart, I can depend on God's promise for plans greater than any I can dream up.

When I'm scared of circumstances working against me, I can trust that God is sovereign.

Preconceived Ideas.

New Mexico is all desert. Arizona is all desert. They're hot. The sun just beats down on you all the time.

Wrong.

New Mexico was cold, and Arizona has a bunch of trees. It's home a a national forest, actually. And it snowed today.

Anyways, I think people (or at least me) have lots of preconceived ideas about things they really don't know anything about. And they're probably mostly wrong.

I know. Today is deep. (I'm really tired.)

Discernment.

Recently talked about spiritual discernment in discipleship. Hopefully Jordan Maroon doesn't read this and wonder if I was listening.


My main question for Jordan when we talked was just "How do we discern God's will for certain situations?"


God speaks to us in various ways. The notable ones are:

- The Bible

- Relationships

- Circumstances

The Bible is the priamary source. There is no other way God will speak that would contradict the Bible. Which is pretty significant. It tells us that if we're really trying to discern God's will in some specific situation, it's not just about praying and sitting there till you hear a voice from the clouds. It's actively pursuing and trying to figure out what God has already told us.

A second way is through our relationships. God is working in our friends, and hopefully our Christian friends are seeking God's will. Which, if they are, then they'll have been in God's word and know which direction to point you.

Lastly, there's circumstances. This is the least important, but we make it out to be the most important. We pray about whether we should do something and wait to see how the circumstance turn out. We wait to see if a door is going to be opened or closed. And it's not to say that God doesn't work through this, but it's not as common. Blindly walking through whatever door is open doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be doing God's will. Neither is it as glorifying to God as actively seeking Him out is.

Now, things can get sticky at times. So here's a couple "add-ons" that we discussed too:

Sometimes, there can be multiple right answers and it's less about choosing what is 'more right' and seeking God and following where you think he's leading. For instance, if spring break is coming up, you've got multiple mission trip opportunities, and you don't know which one you should go on. Is going on any mission trip going to be 'wrong'? No. Is one mission trip 'more right'? Maybe. But if you seek God's will and end up making a choice for the 'less right' option, that's going to glorify God more than just arbitrarily picking the option that's 'more right'.

Sometimes you just need to decide on something and if it's wrong, let God correct you. Waiting for an answer could be the wrong thing to do. If all of the sudden, you've got a free hour and you know of multiple things you could do, it'd be wrong to wait for that hour to try to decide what to do. Cause then you've missed your opportunity.

God can redeem any situation. Making a wrong choice that you'll have to live with doesn't mean God can't work through you where you're at. God is all about redemption. So, don't let a bad decision distract you from discern where God wants to take you from there.

Roadtrippin'

It's strange to think I'm in the middle of Lousiana right now. A week ago I was in Virginia. Charlotte, and Chapel Hill before that. A week from now, I'll be in LA. And I'll be in Dallas, at the Grand Canyon, Salt Lake City, and Seattle on between.

It's strange cause these are significant places. You see movies centered around them. And I'm just passing through. Just getting a small glimpse of what each has to offer.

That was a weird part about driving to Texas over spring break for me. We drove through Vicksburg and that got me excited. It's a significant part of the civil war. But, it's not significant part of getting to Texas. It's probably ten minutes or less of interstate with no historical significance.

But, that being said, getting a glimpse is way cooler than just seeing pictures or movies. Especially when you get to do it with awesome people like Will Hipschman.

It's going to be a great trip.

The Adventure Begins

You may have noticed the lack of a blog post or two last week. 'Why?' you may ask. Well, I was at Rockbridge having an excellent time with the worship track with limited internet and a lack of time for writing.

This week, I'm driving to Seattle with Will Hipschman. I know all of your hearts just fell. You think that since I'll be driving across the country you won't get to peek into my thoughts until I'm done. And that's where you'd be wrong.

It's actually quite the contrary. I hope to post daily this week - trip and non-trip posts.

Tell your friends, check back daily, and get ready for some writing that will hopefully make you laugh, make you think, and make you wish you were driving across the country.

How to use RSS feeds.

It has recently come to my attention that not as many people know about RSS feeds as I had assumed.

RSS feeds are links to various websites that let you know when the website is updated. I basically just use them for blogs so I know when new content is added without having to see a link somewhere or constantly check back.

To use them, you have to have an aggregator of sorts. I use and recommend Google Reader. I actually don't even know about any other RSS readers.

Once you've signed up for Google Reader, in the top left corner there's a button that says "add subscription". You click on that, enter the web address of the site you want to stay up to date on (e.g., inthisverymoment.blogspot.com) and it'll will search that site to find it's RSS feed.

Alternatively, some sites (like my photoblog, bradnemitz.web.unc.edu) offer a link directly to RSS feeds. You should be able to click that link and having open a webpage asking if you would like to subscribe to the feed.

Not all websites offer RSS, but many do, and it's a great way to keep up.

"Hovering"

Exam week has wonderfully highlighted two behaviors that happen all the time around college.

First, it's finals so everyone wants to study. Everywhere. Typically, you might have to walk around a little bit to find a table, but this week, you usually have to employ a technique I call "hovering". Other people might call it "finding the people who look most likely to leave first and stalking their table until they leave. Then you pounce on it like a tiger because you never know who else might be trying to stalk the table too and you don't want to lose out."

This is great if you get a table this way, (it's exactly how I got the table I wrote the first draft of this at) but it get's really awkward if you're being the stalked. I never know if I should make it obvious that I'm not done yet, or if I should hurry up and finish so other people have some space. Occasionally, I get the urge to cut people off and just stay at my table, even if I don't have a good reason to if they're being obnoxious about it. Kinda like when you get the urge to not let the obnoxious driver who tries to jump to the front of the line over in front of me.

Anyways, I feel like I've seen this happen 10x more this past week, but it's always a problem. Especially in the dining halls right at lunch or dinner. And actually, if you encounter the meal variety, you'll get some people who are the "I'm going to sit down at your table because there's an open seat. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you having a private conversation? What's it about?"

Secondly, I talked about awkward interactions with people you know already, but what about that person you don't know? You know it happens. You're both headed opposite directions (or maybe you're stalking their table and they look up) and you have a moment of unexpected eye contact. It's in that moment you realize that your face, though rightfully so due to the lack of seating, lack of sleep, and stress of exams, carries an expression that says you're going to kill someone if you have to carry your laptop and 20 lbs of books for another five minutes. But now you're staring straight into someone's soul through their innocent eyes and you're worried they're going to think that expression is directed at them, so you force a nice little fake smile. The kind where you really just shove the corners of your mouth up. You don't even try for a toothy smile cause you know they're probably coffee stained (you can't pull an all-nighter without any coffee), and you just don't have enough time to figure out which muscle it is that makes your 'eyes smile'.

Somehow, this seems to do the trick cause you get the same sort of fake smile back and then continue on your way.

Hold up.

Bin Laden is dead.

Is joy the appropriate response? Should we, as Christians, rejoice that a man, even if he was evil, has died?

Even more, should we thank God he's dead?

Now, I do think justice should be served as best as we can serve it. But, I don't believe that includes killing anyone. Life is short enough already. I believe as Christians, we should hope that everyone have as much opportunity to be saved as possible. And though many people may be considering whether or not you can be saved after death, I believe that is not the truth (Luke 16:19-31). So, killing someone cuts their life, and their chances of being saved, short.

Additionally, I believe that the Bible teaches all sins are equal. (James 2:10 says "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.) That means you and I are no better than Osama Bin Laden. If he deserves eternal damnation, then so do we.

But, Christ died on the cross so that whoever calls upon his name can be saved (John 3:16). There is no sin that Jesus cannot overcome. Is that not what our churches teach? Is that not what we preach to liars, addicts, and thiefs? Why then, should that not also include murderers? Or mass murders?

I understand the pain that can be caused by losing a loved one. Any wrongdoing against you causes pain. and it's not easy to forgive that someone who has wronged you. But yet again, that's what the Bible tells us to do. We're to forgive someone seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)

Furthermore, the Bible says ‎"Do not rejoice when your enemies fall, and do not let your heart be glad when they stumble..." (Proverbs 24:17). I was unfamiliar with that verse until tonight, but a friend posted it on their facebook and it applies perfectly here.

Do you need more reasons to not be rejoicing?

I hope I make this clear. I don't like Osama Bin Laden. He did terrible things. But he is equally welcome to God's grace and mercy. He is loved by God, just as you, I, and the rest of the world are. Celebrating and thanking God for his death is an inappropriate response.


UPDATE:
After reading more from people who share my view, I realized I missed two other Biblical examples (in case you really do need more reasons).

Romans 12:9-21
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.



Ezekiel 33:11
Say to them, "As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live."




UPDATE #2:
This is not about whether this war is right or wrong, or  whether killing Bin Laden was right or wrong, or even whether killing anyone is right or wrong. It's about not rejoicing over death. My second paragraph is a bridge to that end, not a commentary on capital punishment.

Gods of Israel.

What's that you say? You've read the Old Testament and Israel only believed in the true God?

Well, you'd be right, in a way.

Also, wrong in a way.

I heard a podcast the other day about by Archeologist Bill Dever who says that in addition to the Hebrew god Yahweh, ancient Israelites may have worshipped a Canaanite female goddess called Asherah. Not necessarily the leaders of Israel, but the general mass of everyday people.

Shocked? You shouldn't really be. Remember how much the Old Testament condemned polytheism? It's probably because it was such a problem with people.

What Dever goes on to say, is that for most people, they most likely still considered Yahweh the supreme being, but just added Asherah on as a lower goddess, perhaps Yahweh's wife. That's different than what I usually picture at least. When I read about God telling the Israelites that they're to have no other gods, I picture some silly people completely forgetting about God to worship some pagan god.

As Christians, I think this is a picture of God and Asherah is one we can relate to a lot better. I know I can at least. In church we'll talk about idols and how we need to put God first. We'll talk about how different things in life can be idols to us, but it doesn't resonate because we don't let these things take God's place. We don't throw out Christianity for our idols. They just add on. Just like the Israelites added on Asherah.

But adding on is just as bad. Maybe it's worse. If you completely let something completely replace God, it's easy to spot. It's easy to have friends call you out on. When you've just got an addition, it's much more difficult to spot.


*the podcast I listened to can be found here, if you're interested.

Eating three lunches (or the quickest way to get fat).

I like being personable. It's great to have the chance to sit down with a friend and have a one-on-one talk about life. To get the chance to hear what's really going on in their lives. And I feel like that's what a large part of college is about: building relationships.

But there are so many people at college. So many.

Also, it's really hard to tell someone no. If they want to invest in your life and share part of themselves, are you really going to say no? Really?

So, sometimes, you end up having to double or triple-book lunch. (A problem that somehow still persists despite near OCD Google calendar organization.) How do you deal with it?


Chances are if you forgot about your previously scheduled lunch date and planned another, you might forget your first one entirely. This gets extremely awkward if you told both people you'd meet at the same place.

"Hi. Waiting on someone?"

"Yep. I'm getting lunch with my friends Brad today."

"What a crazy random happenstance! I'm waiting on a Brad too."

Get used to asking "Do you like coffee?" What's that? You don't like coffee? Maybe you should try to develop a taste for it. Or at least be able to stand it. Text that second lunch date and switch it to a coffee break. You'll need the caffeine to make through to your double-booked dinner anyways. (If you plan to meet multiple people over coffee, make sure you stick to the same coffee shop so you can take full advantage of those free refills.)


This is a dangerous one. You realize you scheduled two people and decide that you'll have an awesome friend group collision lunch. They've never met before, but it doesn't matter. They're both friends with you, so they'll get along, right?


You get fat from eating three lunches everyday (if it makes you feels better, you can call them different things like hobbits do: breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, etc.). But don't worry about your weight. What really matters is that you're building up your relationships. (While building up plaque in your veins. It's like a two-for-one deal!)

So, next time you get lunch-merged on by a caffeine-addicted friend making their way towards obesity, remember: they're doing it for the relationships.