Instantly.

Recently, I got this thing called Spotify. It's basically like a better version of Grooveshark, for those of you unfamiliar with it. I can stream whatever song I want to listen to, almost instantly.

I also have Netflix which lets me watch most things I want to, whenever I want to.

(I might have just paused writing for about 20 minutes to watch That '70s Show.)

I also have a smartphone that lets me do both of those things, and pretty much whatever else I want to do. I can't remember something, and instead of wondering, I look it up. There's no need to ponder any question. I can know the answer.

But I want to ponder that. Is there value in wondering about things? I'm not worried about our generation having less patience. I'm not worried about us learning how to find information more than we learn information. I'm worried we're going to lose our imagination.

When you don't know something, your mind is free to create it's own answer. When you can know anything, your mind doesn't need to.

Before the plunge.

Have you ever been to a lake or quarry to jump off the rocks into the water?

It can be one of the most exhilarating things. You're fifteen feet above the water. Maybe you've done it before, or maybe it's your first time. It might take a little bit of convincing yourself, or maybe you're able to just ignore your inclination to not hurl yourself off high places for a split-second. Either way, you take a few steps, and leap into the air.

Taking a day off.

Last Tuesday was wonderful. Why is that? I slept til 11. Then I did nothing much the entire day. Sure, I went out for lunch with my dad, and visited my mom in the hospital, but I didn't do anything draining.

I think I miss that a lot of times. I generally like doing stuff, and so I will. I'll fill my entire week with things until I finally get so worn out I realize I haven't had a day off in ages.

During the school year, it's a little more apparent and easier to manage since weekends are always the weekend. It forces you to relax at least a little. But, this summer, a weekend might mean I spend 20 hours of it working, and I miss my chance to have a day to myself.

So, that's why last week I skipped writing a blog post.

When stakes get high.

I've only taken one psychology class, so I can't claim to know anything about how our brains really work. But I'm going to make assumptions anyways.


I think that humans have experiences on just one scale. Only one.


Let's say this is just a 1 to 10 scale. 1 is mundane life. 10 is your most significant experience. So, what happens is that when you're a little kid, you expand your scale all the time. Your first time up a lighthouse is a 10, because it's the coolest thing you've done so far. Later on in life, you break an arm, and now that's a little more emotional situation, so that's your 10.


It goes on like that. Each experience that outdoes the last sets a new 10, til eventually your old 10 (like climbing up a lighthouse) is only a 2 on your newest scale.


And I think there comes a point where one experience sticks out beyond the rest, and your scale doesn't really expand much more. You get set in a routine, and not much stretches you anymore.


One day it will expand, though. Something will fight for a new 10.


But, when that happens, it's not about the new experience as much as it is how you respond to them.


So, how do you respond when you're challenged beyond anything you've ever done?


-----


This post is particularly fitting this week because of what's going on with my mom. For those of you who haven't heard, doctors found a tumor in her pancreas and identified it as cancer a couple weeks ago. It was discovered very early, and they should be able to remove it. Tomorrow, she's having that surgery to have the tumor removed.


If you want to know more and/or keep up to date with what's going on, you can check out  http://www.caringbridge.org/vi​sit/dinemitz.

The lie is that you're all alone.

It's hard to be vulnerable. It's something that everyone struggles with at some point. Whether it's opening up with a significant other or disagreeing with someone who doesn't share your opinions, we've run into it at some point.

What else I've discovered is that it's hard to be vulnerable on a blog. In a post that anyone, anywhere can see.

Just a few months ago, when I made this blog public, I wrote a humorous post about the types of interactions people have. That post got tons of views. So, I tried to keep writing funny posts. I felt like that's what people wanted to read, so I was going to try to fit what I wanted to write into that.

But, this isn't really a humor blog. This isn't "Stuff Christians Like". I write funny things every once in a while, but for the most part it's more serious.

So, as I started running out of funny things to say, I started opening up a little bit more and being a bit more vulnerable. I started writing my opinions on issues that people might disagree with.

In particular, I shared my view on the death of Osama bin Laden. I was sitting in the library next to a friend who agreed with my view and started defending himself on facebook. I felt like it was just us two, but having someone else was enough to get me past the fear of being vulnerable and judged, and I wrote a blog post on my thoughts.

Remember when I said anyone, anywhere can see what I post? That night, I felt it. I had many people disagree with me. I even had a church pastor criticize my use of the Bible. But, I also had just as many people who agreed with me.

But, that's just a small example that points to a bigger truth: You are not alone.

The lie that satan tries to feed each and every one of us is that we're the only one with our problem, whether that's addiction, pride, anger, trust, or anything else. If you believe you're alone, you lose hope. You become ashamed. You don't reach out in fear of judgement.

But, you're not alone. Tons of people have had those issues. That's why people start support groups.


It's the fear you have to overcome. The fear is what will keep you from seeking out friends who can help you. And realizing you're not alone makes it ten times easier.

It's better to make the u-turn.

As a delivery driver, I have to use the GPS navigation on my phone to find many places. Usually, it turns out really well. I stick in an address, it tells me when to make a turn, and I get where I need to be.

But, every once in a while, I end up heading in the wrong direction. I'm not paying attention and think it said to take a right instead of a left so I make a wrong turn, or I just miss the street and go a bit farther than I really need to. When this happens, my GPS never suggests to take a u-turn. I don't know why, but it always just recalculates a new route. It usually tries to make me do a circle around the block so I come back up the street the same way.

It's so easy to do the same thing in life. Easier than it is with driving cause you don't have a turn-by-turn set of directions for life. You can say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or miss an opportunity you should've taken.

When that happens, I think we try to do just like my GPS. We try to find a way to circle back around discreetly so we don't have to admit we made a mistake.

But, the thing is, circling back around can take forever compared to just making a u-turn. 

Thinking everyone in the room is judging you.

I'm pretty sure it's happened to all of us at some point. You say something stupid while you had everyone's attention, and now they're all judging you for your stupidity. The guy with the glasses that belong in the 90s, the girl with the whiny voice, the know-it-all who corrects every fact, and that person who you didn't even think was really listening because they were too busy updating their Facebook. Now you're almost certain they're updating it to mock you.


It would be one thing if these people were on your level, but your voice is clear, your glasses are modern, you aren't a nerd, and you'd rather be disconnected from the internet and spend real time with people. You're better than they are. So that they would judge you makes it burn a little stronger.


Maybe you haven't encountered this. Maybe you're getting a glimpse of what life looks like to someone overly prideful. And maybe I'm being way to obvious about what I'm trying to get at: you usually end up thinking everyone in the room is judging you because you are judging everyone in the room.


The college group from my church is spending the summer going through Romans, and a few weeks back, we talked about Romans 2 and judgement. For those of you unfamiliar with the passage, here's a key verse (Romans 2:1):


You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.


As Christians, I think we can often take this as not judging non-christians. But, it goes further than that. It's a blanket statement. We are not to judge that 'guy who claims to be Christian but only shows up to church on Easter' as much as we aren't supposed to judge anyone else.


The overall point here is that if you find yourself feeling judged, it's very likely that it is because you're judging others. And that's something we all need to keep in check because it can destroy relationships.